What is Findom?

As the name suggests, findom is a form of domination that’s more financial than sexual in nature. As far as those involved are concerned, there’s something seriously arousing about essentially being bribed, blackmailed and/or exploited. For others, there’s a feeling of power and self-esteem that only comes with handing over money for nothing in return.

Here’s what the renowned Goddess IshtarX has to say about the whole thing, which puts it into perspective better than most explanations:

“In return for your devotion, I will relieve you from the burden of decision, using you as I see fit for my entertainment and the entertainment of my friends. I will decide what is best for you, what roles you should be trained in, when you require humbling and when you will be rewarded,”

“As you serve, I will dig deeper and deeper into the darkest parts of your soul, discovering your most hidden desires and bringing them to the surface, becoming a true mirror to who you are, the only person in the world with whom you can be completely honest.”

Like all kinks, financial domination can only really be understood by those that are into it. To outsiders, the thought of paying a dominatrix you’ll never meet for nothing more than a few selfies here and there may seem bizarre. For those who get a kick out of it, the exhilaration justifies every penny and more.

Findom Stories: How Much do Paypigs Really Spend?

It’s probably safe to say that most sexual fetishes aren’t widely regarded as particularly glamorous or sophisticated. In fact, it’s often the seedy side of the whole thing that appeals to those involved.

One notable exception to the rule, however, has become increasingly popular as of late. Once a relatively unknown concept, financial domination has emerged as a force to be reckoned with over recent years.

The kink of surrendering power and playing a submissive role is nothing new, but in the case of the whole findom thing, the submissive never actually meets the dominatrix in person.

In which case, who better to ask for a full disclosure on what they get out of it or how much they spend than a few self-confessed findom addicts?

For the record, all of the following names have been changed for obvious reasons:

Amir – Electrician, Los Angeles

To be honest I came across findom completely by accident and thought it was weird as hell. Actually, got hooked on the idea when I was in prison for selling cannabis – it ended up being all I thought about day and night.

I totally understand how people would think it’s pointless but I can’t describe the feeling it gives me. It’s something to do with the helplessness of it – the fact that she could ruin my business, my marriage and my reputation at any time, unless I keep paying.

I’d probably estimate that so far, I’ve spent a minimum of $150,000 on a handful of findom mistresses since 2010. The one I’m paying right now is the most expensive by far – I routinely send her $1,000 or more just to keep her happy.

Andre – Graphic Designer, London

Yeah, a lot of people ask me the same question and to be honest no, I don’t see what I’m doing as cheating. I’m in a happy and satisfying relationship though I’d probably end up in deep s**t if my other half knew how much I was spending. But that’s exactly where the thrill of it all comes from – spending day and night knowing I’m on the brink of getting caught and paying to keep my ass safe!

It varies a lot but I’d say I’m spending around £150 each month. I really don’t see this as a big deal as it’s way less than other people spend on stuff like casino games or even booze – I don’t drink or smoke, if that’s anyway relevant.

I don’t know – it’s just something about knowing the power is completely out of my hands, coupled with the cheeky feeling that I’m not actually cheating but still doing something I probably shouldn’t be doing.

I almost quit a while back when a dominatrix suddenly told me I needed to send her £500, instead of the usual £50. It scared the shit out of me and practically flatlined my bank account – it was also the biggest thrill I’ve got from it all so far.

Trent – Stockbroker, Denver

Give me a break – like I really count the costs! That’s the whole point of the thing, that you just give yourself away completely to a stranger who takes control of your cash. I’ve thought nothing of waxing $2,000 for nothing more than a handful of Tweets and a couple of personalized selfies.

I don’t know what to tell you – some weirdos like being beaten to a pulp and called names, I prefer feeling like I’m at the mercy of someone else financially. I see it a bit like gambling – I give her money and wait to see how she’ll react.

Truth is I’d love to meet her one day and see what happens, but the fact that I know I won’t somehow makes the whole thing be even more exciting. Almost like being teased with something that’s right there but completely out of reach.